Leaving things under the rocks….Some things are better left alone

I often have life epiphanies when I am in the middle of those solitary moments to include but not be limited to:

  1. Cleaning
  2. Washing dishes
  3. Taking a shower
  4. Driving
  5. Cooking
  6. Somewhere in the middle of twilight sleep
  7. Reading

Not that you needed any of the above information about me, but I’m throwing it in there as a bonus.  Added note: we need those quiet times to have those “aha” moments.  Moving on….

I was washing dishes today and for some reason I was thinking about calling an old friend I grew up with. Then for some reason, I decided not to make that phone call.  Mostly because some things are better left where they are.

I think back to all of the times when I think of people and look them up, only to be disappointed.  About how many “dead” relationships I attempted to resurrect in the name of being a good person, someone who has the spirit of reconciliation, etc etc.  But aren’t some things better left unturned?

When I was a little girl, a tomboy to be precise, we used to like looking for the large rocks that we could actually pick up. Mostly because they held a plethora of things that could be found underneath there that would scatter when the daylight would hit.  We’d lift the rock and then see what would run out from it and then try and collect the things in a jar – good times.   I used to love it!   Once we even found a nest of baby rabbits.  One decided to run away.  I promptly saved him from the boys and took him home to my mother.  She about lost her mind when she saw it but commended me for my heroic efforts.

Since then, I have unturned a lot of figurative rocks.  Some rocks  in my own life where the light needed to shine so to speak.  Other rocks where I should have left them right where they were.  Remember, things hide under rocks for a reason.

Not sure why this was on my mind today, but I was thinking about reconciliation.  What it means and how far I’m really supposed (read – willing) to go in the name of keeping the peace, in the name of restoring the peace.  And should I always be the one who initiates this? I wrote about giving people the gift of goodbye a while back.    However, it’s always so difficult to peace out on those people who you love the most especially when you still adore them.  Or is this just me who feels like this?

How many times do I reach out before I have to just call it a wrap and take it as a loss?  And why is it that our relationships and friendships just can’t go back to being simple and honorable anymore?

Sometimes I wish I could just walk away and not look back.  And maybe that’s really what it’s about – being able to finally walk away and not look back, not having to wonder if I did all I could do.  When I say good-bye I like to make sure it won’t be for the lack of trying on my part. I like to make sure I’m ready to walk away because when I do, I’m not planning to go back.  I may distance myself at times, but I do like to be slow to completely end a friendship.  It actually makes me upset to lose people I love.  The thing is though, if your friends and relationships aren’t serving you and you’re always serving them, then maybe it’s time to do something different.  Maybe it’s time to have a seat and stop the doing.

There is a limit to outreach.  It may hurt at first, but sometimes, it’s just the way it is.   And sometimes, it’s good not to reach out just because it’s nice to know that if I don’t come reconciling with you, that you’ll come and reconcile with me.  Relationships should be symbiotic, not parasitic.

Raenote :  I will say if it’s involving a parent, sibling, child, spouse, long-time friend or REALLY special someone then it’s appropriate to go the extra mile.  When it’s some random person who you spend only a few hours with at a time and gives you more foolishness than peace  – then peace that shit out.

I think some things are better left alone.  Some things are better left unsaid.  Some things are better left under the rock.

And some people things you should throw rocks at – just saying.

Love Y’all,

Rae

 

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13 thoughts on “Leaving things under the rocks….Some things are better left alone

  1. This is a great post. It makes you think for sure. I believe reconciliation is necessary in life. Some rocks do need to be unturned. Some relationships must be revisited. We never know what we can learn or take away from reconnecting with someone. It could be just the thing we need in our life…at exactly the right time.

    Yet, like you stated, sometimes we do have to let go of the possibility of reconnecting with some people. Not all friendships are meant to stand the test of time. They have their seasons and then they must fade or pass. It’s all about determine which ones we need to hold on to and which ones we need to let go.

    • Thank you!! And yes, reconciliation is always in order. I think we can carry it too far sometimes when we need to leave well enough alone. It’s all about the discernment! Glad you stopped by the blog! Let me know what you think of the other posts when you have some time!

      • Trust me…I know that’s true! I’ve had friendships that I’ve tried to hold on to when I should have realized that it was over and there was no going back. I’ve always been the type of person to want to see or believe the best. As a result, I used to find it difficult to let go and part ways with people I thought should still have a place in my life. I soon realized that’s just not the way it works. Everyone isn’t meant to be around forever.

        No doubt. I’ll be checking out some of your other posts throughout the week. I’m glad our paths crossed. I’m convinced that everything happens for a reason.

      • Me too!! We definitely have to stay in touch. I always think the best of people as well. Which has gotten me into so much trouble. Nevertheless, I’m willing to let things just happen as they need to. There are only a few we will hold on to and keep around forever. Sad, but true. Like I mentioned, I don’t like losing people – but it is what it is. Definitely let me know what you think!

  2. I love your blog, Rae–especially your rock metaphor–tooooo perfect, my friend. Also, wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog today and leaving such a sweet comment about my grandmother. You’re a sweetie. Hugs———
    Kathy

    • Awww thank you so much Kathy!! That means so much coming from you! I love your blog as well and I feel like I knew Kimmy after the piece you wrote. I’m really excited to read the coming posts and the book! It means so much that you took the time to stop over here and read! Let’s keep in touch. xox Rae

    • Thank you love! LOL abt the Raenote – those really happen more often than not. I am just now adding them. So glad you enjoyed it. I struggle with it but have gotten better at letting “sleeping dogs lie” so to speak.

  3. Awesome post. This time of year often makes me sentimental for past relationships, but I also have learned the hard way to let that tidal wave of emotions crash and wash over me. I used to do a “12 Days of Christmas” call-a-thon to reach out to past friends, but it never gave me joy – only more baggage to pile up with the rest of the “rocks”. This year I think I will refocus and use my 12 days to do something different. Probably focus some much needed time on my family. Love ya, sister.
    Kelly

    • Thank you Kelly. Love you too! I used to do the same thing. One year, I decided not to call anyone. My phone barely rang except for the close friends that I had (have) and so after that I stopped. And yes, family should be the focus – including the extended ones!!! ❤

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