This post is dedicated to those who live their lives unapologetically.
I was reading an article on Very Smart Brothers the other day about how the writer, Champ, is in love with Issa Rae and Tracey Oliver. His article pointed out what is obvious, but not so obvious – that when all the critics decided to come down on the writers of Awkward Black Girl, the creators Issa Rae and Tracey Oliver responded with this:
Some of our viewers may have been offended by some of the language in our recent episode. We take this matter especially to heart, considering the CFC and members of the LGBT community were among the first to embrace ‘The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.’
Since our first episode debuted in February this year, ‘Awkward Black Girl’ has received an incredible outpouring of support from hundreds of thousands of fans. We love and appreciate each and every one of our fans! In return, we strive to provide a show that uses irreverent comedy and humor to address the oftentimes uncomfortable situations that many people have experienced at some point or another in their lives.
In creating a series of this nature, we are willing to accept the praise when the jokes work and the feedback when they may not.
Sincerely, Issa & Tracy
And these women didn’t apologize.
It took me a while to think about it. In fact, I’ve slept on it for a few days after reading not only their apology but The Champ’s response to it as well.
I took note of it. I believe in their approach. Stop apologizing for what I create. Be able to stand by what I create. Be able to stand by who I am and my choices.
It made me take stock of how I conduct myself. Am I too apologetic? Am I always worried about what others are thinking? What if I write this blog post and folks tear it up? I mean, why should I care?
I am a believer in living life unapologetically. That’s not to say I never apologize. Sometimes my ass is just flat-out wrong and an apology is due. However, it takes knowing yourself very well to know when you’re in the wrong versus when someone isn’t trying to gaslight you into believing their load of bullshit and force you to submit.
Nay I say, nay.
Raenote: You can be unapologetic and unwavering. However, don’t be the person that no one can counsel you or tell you about yourself. That’s just some crazy shat and you’re setting yourself up for failure. Being unapologetic means you’re willing to “chart your own course” but are also willing to change it given the need for a change. If you’re unwavering, to me that means you are reliable and consistent. You can trust and count on yourself. Others can trust and count on you as well. You can trust the decisions you’re making because you’re using discernment and the wisdom you’ve collected. When the decisions don’t pan out with the results you’ve hoped for, you woman-up and pick up those broken pieces (when you’re ready), heal and move forward.
There is something about a woman who is accountable for her life and what she chooses to add to the world. I strive to be one of those women. A good friend of mine, Rodd Klever, advised me I know myself better than I give myself credit for. He does have a point. I am also sure I’m always going to chart my own course. I may take a detour from time to time, but if people want to walk, then we need to be going in the same direction, same path.
I admire Issa Rae and Tracy Oliver. They are successful because they chose to follow their own instincts, their guts and put things out there in a way others haven’t before. The way they wanted to do it. This is also known as being an innovator. They are setting the mark and the tone for others to follow behind them.
Mostly, for me, they are inspirational. They make me realize (without them trying), that all of those posts I don’t think I should write, should probably be written. Things I think shouldn’t be said should be spoken. It’s always about presentation. They remind me of my desire to live unapologetically, to have no regrets. People respect you when you hold your ground and are unwavering.
I feel a shift coming on, blog growth & change, author growth and change.
Truthfully, I have debated on how far I would go with the blog recently. I believe I have an answer and the green light I needed to move it to the next level.
“If you truly expect to realize your dreams, abandon the need for blanket approval. If conforming to everyone’s expectations is the number one goal, you have sacrificed your uniqueness, and therefore your excellence.” ~ Hope Solo