Shiftlessness and Shit….

I really need to stop being a shiftless negro and cross some business off my life list.

Are you a shiftless person? I am a shiftless negro at times.

shift·less/ˈSHiftlis/
Adjective:
(of a person or action) Characterized by laziness and a lack of ambition.

But this lack of motivation some days is NOT the business. I’d like to blame it on ADD or something else. I mean I do have the attention span of a gnat.
But I think I am just shiftless. Sure I work two jobs. Sure, I write part-time. But when I start looking at my immigrating population peers people start rattling off all of their accomplishments and what-not….I feel shiftless.

And real talk, some days I want to stop. Check all of my balances across retirement plans and the money people owe me, and all of the furniture I could sell. Then not pay any of my bills for a month. Then pack up, move to Jamaica and sell fried fish and strong drinks in a bikini at my own fishstand. I’d walk home. Have a quiet little house somewhere. See, I have worked this out.

In other words – it means some days I just want to check out, clock out the game and have a seat. It’s also known as giving up. But is the fish stand really giving up?

Then I realize I have purpose. People are looking at me, counting on me.

Then I hear the fish stand call to me again.

So with that said, I need to attack my life list.

Or at least the list I wrote with some things I want to get done by February 24, 2014.

By the way, are you following me on Twitter @fromraewithlove? Holla at me.

I spoke about it on twitter the other day. The Day Zero project aka 101 in 1001. The basics of the project are to make a list of 101 TANGIBLE items to be completed in 1001 days. 1001 days is a little shy of three years.

Read more about it here: http://dayzeroproject.com/about/

Plenty of time to get some things done. I mean, three years ago was 2009. During that time I took a trip I wanted to take. That was a huge item off my list.

I looked at the list the other day & realized I only have 44 items on there! Zoinkee!

That 44 bothered me.

Why? I should have more. I should at least be able to get to 80. Maybe I’m not dreaming big enough? Well that stopped effective a few months ago. So this week I added a few things.

Here’s a few items on my list to do:

1. Buy a DSLR camera.
2. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
3. Buy a scooter (maybe a Vespa, maybe not?)
4. Submit two to five short stories for publishing.
5. Take a writing class or workshop.
6. Build a terrarium.
7. Write every day for one month 🙂
8. Cook one new meal every month for six months.
9. Take a four to seven day vacation alone.
10. Host two dinner parties.
11. Plant a garden.
12. Learn to can & make preserves.
13. Do yoga 3x a week for three months.

Here are a few items on my list I have completed:

1. Take a series of sewing classes.
2. Start my blog.
3. Buy a sewing machine.
4. Attend Blogging While Brown.
5. Reach 5000 tweets.

So maybe I’m not as shiftless as I think I am. Most days.

I’m still adding items. I’ve managed to work up to 62 items right now and am happy with it.

There are still 39 slots for things that may come up. I’ll continue to work on this for the next few months.

All I know is I am fighting this shiftlessness with every fiber of my being. Crossing things off the list, setting goals, having expectations and clear goals for myself – stops that feeling of despair. That feeling of giving up.

There will be no giving up.

Period.

But is the fish stand really giving up or just changing my focus?

Love,
Rae

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4 thoughts on “Shiftlessness and Shit….

  1. I am _such_ a list maker! It is so helpful to see things get crossed off the list! I’ve been trying to live a little more in the moment and go with the flow lately, but no doubt I’ll be back to planning my life a little more solidly soon. I needed this “just chill” time to recover from a lifetime of life plans I had made and accomplished!

    • That’s awesome. I want to be able to look back and say that – and that I have accomplished (and happily) the things I wanted to do. I will go with the flow, but this flow – girl, it’s had me going in too many directions. I need to be a laser beam and not a flood light. LOL…. I need to work on the other items on the list. Even if they are small, then I need to make it happen.

  2. I really liked this!! I’m right there with you on the fish stand too 😉

    I’m one of those type of people where I will pile a lot of things on my plate at once, and if it all can’t be eaten at that one time, then it’s just food gone to waste. I love this idea of making a list. While I already believe that I got a little (muy pequeno) organization in my life, I would love to try and take on this challenge!!

    Great Post! Inspiring like always

    • Thank you so much!!! Yes!! I have muy pequeno in my life too. I manage to get a few things done. But seriously, I could be far more productive if I can break myself out of this feeling some days. I really believe it’s mind over matter. I want to look back and say that I really LIVED. All of this sitting around waiting for things to be just right or people to act right that I’ve been doing – isn’t the business.

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