I Will Wait for You….

Every time something gives way in a relationship,a relationship that maybe I should have for reasons of learning lessons, but isn’t meant to be “the one,” isn’t meant to last forever, it makes you wonder who the one really is or if they exist.

I am here to tell you I believe the person does exist.

The one isn’t Neo from the Matrix, isn’t a Yeti or the Lochness monster.  For me, he’s the person that makes me face forward.  I stop looking back.  All of the other relationships – I become thankful for them because they led me to him, back to him, prepared for to be a better woman for him, for myself.  Maybe they made me get ready to see him and recognize who he is from the time he speaks or a few conversations.  Those relationships make me a better person overall.  They allow me to recognize what I don’t want and what I do, what’s really important to me as a person.

I also believe there can be more than one great love in a person’s lifetime.  Love doesn’t exactly stop just because the first great love didn’t last forever.  If I can’t be with the first great love, do I just never move on?  Do I sit on my hands and resign myself to being a thirty-something cat lady?

Years ago, there was the one.  I still think of him today.  Maybe I was impressionable or maybe it’s what I really think it was.  It was what I think it was.  In some ways it still is.  I was undoubtedly, unabashedly and foolishly in LOVE.  I mean like love that everyone can see all over my face.  The one where others are like, she’s gone. 

That kind of love does something to you.  It changes you forever.  In a good way.  I like to joke and say it ruined me in a way.  It ruined me because I know what it’s like when someone is fully in love with you.  There’s no second guessing.  There’s no question.  I’m not even sure I’d care really.  We happened to be friends and that will span a lifetime as well. This is the sort of love that has caused me to pause.  It’s made me realize when I have dated over the years I’ve always sought the same level of love.  Not in the same way, but it was what I knew.

Not finding it again over the years has taught me it’s rare but there is always hope.  Regardless, I hold out for what I really want.  What is the best of the best.  The person who will be the best person for me.  The best partner, lover, friend, husband and father – in my eyes.

So today, I’ll leave you with this…go ahead and get a drink and a tissue and be ready.   If you’re dating someone right now and they’re only a placeholder, get ready.  Her performance will rock you.  I love her.  Everything she says right here?  Co-sign and amen.

Love y’all,

Rae

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I Will Wait for You….

  1. i feel this one. deeply.
    when you’ve experienced the kind of love you want…but have to let it go – its hard to not want it again/give up on it only existing with that one person.

    • It is. And I think it colors the rest of your life and decisions. It’s a blessing and a curse in a way. Puts you in an awfully awkward position as it relates to new and other loves. I think I need to be in love with myself for a while. I realized yesterday that my days lately have been so full and I’ve been happier with the solitude. That’s not to say I don’t wait for him or think about him – it’s just not the center of attention

Thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s